Help!, I'm surrounded by Idiots
by Twi-tatortot
Summary: When Wanda's doing level fourteen probation at Fairyworld Cosmo has a substitute fairygodmother to help grant Timmy's wishes. The only problem is she's just as stupid as Cosmo is. Will they survive the whole time Wanda's away?finished
1. a Substitute Fairy

Help!, I'm Surrounded by Idiots

Chapter one

**I don't own the Fairly Oddparents**

The beginning is like the end of the episode called_ Were's Wanda? _If you didn't see that episode you might not understand the beginning.

Jorgan Von strangle was in Timmy Turner's room. He was there for the secret fairy meeting.

"Why is this fairy covered in chocolate?!"Jorgan asked.

"I tried to send her to peanut city Tennesse, but she wouldn't go," Cosmo explained.

"Cosmo, you are free to go. Wanda you have level fourteen probation."

"Level fourteen probation? What's that?" Wanda asked.

(Fairy world)

"Welcome to level fourteen probation, Fairy Academy summer school. I'll be your teacher, Mamma Cosma."

"Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!" Wanda yelled.

(Timmy's room)

"So, what do you want to do now?" Cosmo asked.

"I don't know. How about we play the non-study game?" Timmy said.

All of a sudden two fairies appearred. The woman fairy had light blue hair and eyes like the color of blue cotton candy. The other one was a mailfairy.

"Letter for Cosmo," the mailfairy said.

I'm Cosmo." he opened the letter and read it.

The letter read:

Dear Cosmo,

Since your wife is in fairy summer school there will be a substitute fairygod mother to help you grant Timmy's wishes. Good luck 'cause you'll need it puny fairy.

signed Jorgan Von Strangle

When Cosmo was done reading it out loud the mailfairy left.

"Hi, I'm Candace,but you can call me Candy. You must be Timmy," she said to Cosmo.

"Actually I'm Cosmo. He's Timmy," he said while pointing to the ten year old in the silly pink hat.

"Your name is Candy. I wish I had something sweet to eat."

Candy raised her wand and Timmy's feet were smelly and grouse.

"What gives? I asked for candy."

"I thought you said sweatty feet," Candy said.

"I wish I had a can of juice."

Candy raised her wand and a large container of juice poofed on the table. Candy tried to open it by twisting the cap, but it wouldn't budge. She twisted and twisted the cap, but it still wouldn't open. Then Timmy looked at it more carefully and noticed something. It had a little tab on the side of the cap like they have on milk cartons.

"Candy, wouldn't it be easier to use magic or pull the tab on the side of the lid?" Timmy asked.

"Oh, I didn't see that,"she said.

"I'll help you," Cosmo said. He pulled the tab too hard and the juice went everywhere.

"I'll help you clean it up," she said. She poofed a bucket and mop on the floor. She landed on the floor to mop it. As soon as she walked she slid and knocked the bucket over and the mop that was in the bucket landed on Cosmo's head.

"All I asked was for some juice,"Timmy said.

Candy and Cosmo raised their wands and the mess was poofed away.

"I'll just have some soda," Timmy said.

Cosmo raised his wand and in Timmy's hand was a can of cola. "Thankyou Cosmo. Two idiots with magical powers. This is going to be a long summer," he said to himself.


	2. The Arguement

**Chapter 2**

You could hear Timmy's dad from outside of his bedroom door.

"Hurry, get in the fishbowl," Timmy said to the two fairies.Both fairies poofed into the bowl without turning into goldfish.

"I ment for you to turn into fish then go in the bowl. Cosmo, Candy might not have known that, but you should have."

They then turned into fish and his dad came into the room.

"Timmy.Your mom and I are going on vacation- I mean to work all weekend long. Don't worry because we have Vicky to babysit. She's bringing Tootie (her sister) with."

"I don't want Vicky to babysit," Timmy said.

"It's either that or Flappy Bob's Peppy Happy Camp," his dad said.

"I choose death- I mean Vicky,"Timmy said.

"Great. We're leaving right now. Vicky and Tootie are down stairs waiting."

"Okay Candy you should know the rules of being a fairy. Make sure no one else knows that you Excist. Don't do anything stupid," Timmy said.

"I know," she said.

"Hi birdie.You're so cute little birdie. Look I can fly too," she said. She was floating outside the window as cars were driving by and people were walking by.

"I'll get her," Cosmo said. He flue over and poofed a neon sign that said_ We are not Fairies, We are ordinary humans._ He poofed her inside the room again.

"That was a close one. I wish the windows were bolted down although you can just open them up with magic,"Timmy said. "Maybe they're too stupid to notice they can open them with magic," he thought.

"Oh Timmy, my one and only true love who I love with my whole heart," Tootie said down the hallway.

"Oh no, It's Tootie. Quick disguise yourselves," Timmy said. Cosmo put on a fake mustache and glasses. Candy raised her wand and her outfit changed from the flower dress to a skirt and blouse.

"What?" they said.

"That's a disguise?" Timmy asked.

"Hi Timmy," Tootie said.

"Hey Tootie," Timmy said.

"Who are they?" she asked.

"Uh, This is my Uncle Larry(Cosmo) and Aunt Betty(Candy). They should be leaving now."

"Hello," The fairies said.

"Do you want to stay for Dinner?" Tootie asked.

"We'd love to," Cosmo said.

"Actually, they have dinner prepared at their house," Timmy said.

"We'd be glad to have you over," Candy said.

"Would you? I'll have to ask my sister," Tootie said.

She then went down stairs to ask Vicky.

"Why'd you do that? You don't even have a house," Timmy asked to Cosmo and Candy.

"We were trying to be friendly. It's not nice to be rude, like someone I know. Someone who wears a pink hat that said we have to leave,"Cosmo said angrilly.

"I was lying. Do you wanna blow your cover. It looks like that, seeing how bad your disguise is.

"Hey, it took me ten seconds to figure out what my disguise was going to be,"Cosmo said.

"A monkey could figure out who you were," Timmy said.

"Fine, you won't have to see me anymore because I'm going back to Fairyworld. Come on Candy. We're going back to Fairyworld," Cosmo said.

"Huh, Why? I wasn't paying attention. Why are we going there?" Candy asked.

"I'll tell you when we get there." With that Cosmo and Candy poofed out of Timmy's room and into Fairyworld.

"I talked to Vicky and she said no,"Tootie said while going into Timmy's room.When she got in there she noticed Timmy's _aunt and uncle _were gone.

"Were's your aunt and uncle at?" Tootie asked.

"They left. They said it was an emergency,"Timmy said.

"Did someone get hurt?" she asked.

"No, my aunt said she left her meatloaf in the oven too long."

"Now what do you want to do?" He was interupted by Tootie's older sister.

"Guess what time it is?" Vicky said in the doorway while holding a cart full of shoe polish.

"I don't know. What is it?" Timmy and Tootie said at the same time.

"It's time for two twerps named Timmy and Tootie to polish all my shoes."

"This can't be that bad. How many shoes can one girl have?" Timmy said. Vicky came in with a pick-up truck with shoes piled up to the ceiling. "This could take a while," Tootie said.

"I wonder what Cosmo and Candy are doing," Timmy said to himself.

Cosmo told Candy about what happened with him and Timmy.

"Why don't you have a fairygod kid?" Cosmo asked to Candy.

"Jorgan hates me. He thinks I'm too stupid to be have a fairygod kid. I'm in training until I know more how to not destroy the earth. All the other fairies were busy on probation or already had a fairygod kid so Jorgan had no choice, but to send me to substitute your wife.

"I think you're smart," he said.

"Wow. You're the first one to think so.I'm hungry. Do you want an opossum on a stick?"Candy asked.

"Wow, that's one of my favorite foods," Cosmo exclaimed.

"I love it with extra rabies."

"I know. It gives it that extra zip. If I wasn't married to Wanda I'd totally date you."

"Too bad. Are you ready to go back to check on Timmy?" Candy asked.

"Just wait. Let me finish the rest of the opossum on a stick."

When Cosmo was finished they were right about to go back to Timmy's room when...

Cozziefan says in a voice like an announcer-Will you get to see what happens to Cosmo and Candy? Will Timmy have to polish all of those shoes? Will the chapters get any longer? To find out please keep reading the very funny/stupid fanfic Help!, I'm surrounded by Idiots.**Please review.** I don't know if fairy godparents call their godkids fairy godkids or just godkids. It doesn't make sense to me that they would call them fairy godkids because they're not fairies. If you review tell me what they are called on the show.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three -

This chapter is rated PG-13

"Hey Wanda. I thought you were on probation. Why are you walking around?" Cosmo asked.

"I was having dinner."

"Who's this?" Wanda said.

"This is Candy."

"Why are you two hanging out alone?" Wanda asked getting angier by the second.

"It's actually a long story. We-"

"Save it. I know what's going on. You think just because I'm on probation you're a free man."

"But,but,but-" Cosmo tried to explain, but Wanda interrupted.

"I don't want to hear another word," Wanda said. Then she poofed into Timmy's room.

Timmy was polishing his 97th shoe when Wanda appeared in her fish bowl. Tootie was in the room polishing shoes, so when Timmy noticed Wanda was there he sneakly walked over to the bowl.

"Why are you here? I thought you were on probation," Timmy wispered.

"I am. I was at dinner and I saw Cosmo cheating on me."

"With who?"

"Some girl named Candy,"

"Candy is the substitute that was sent here to fill in for you. Did you see them kiss?" Timmy asked.

"No, I just saw them talking."

"How do you know he was cheating on you?"Timmy asked.

"I guess I don't know. Why were they alone at Fairyworld. You should have been with them," Wanda said.

"It's a long story." He then explained it to her.

"I guess I should apologize to him. I judge too quickly."

"Won't you get in trouble for not being in Fairy summer school?"

"I have an hour dinner. I'm aloud to go out as long I'm back in time. I better go now.

"Bye," Timmy said. Wanda left to go to Fairyworld and apologize to Cosmo.

"Cosmo I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" Wanda said.

"Yes I'm sorry to. I should have been with Timmy. I make it look suspicious. I was just so mad at Timmy." Then they hugged.

"Where's Candy at?"

"She left because Timmy didn't have any magical fairies with him,"he said.

"I was just at Timmy's room and I didn't see her. I have to go back to fairy summer school now or else I will get in trouble. Bye sweety," she said.

"Where could she be?"Cosmo said to himself. He dissappeared and reappeared in Timmy's room.

"Have you seen Candy," he said to Timmy.(Tootie was in the bathroom and Vicky was in the living room watching a Chip Skylark concert.)

"No I didn't see her since you went away to Fairyworld with her,"Timmy said.

Then a brick crashed through the window with a note attached to it.

note-_"If you ever want to see your fairy again go to the gym of Dimmsdale Elementary School at 7:30 a.m. Bring your other fairygod parent._

_singed fairy killer._

__

Oh darnit. the whole plot of the story is here. Who is the person who fairynapped Candy?

Please read the next chapter. **Read and Reveiw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Just to let you know(If you are an idiot like Cosmo, Candy and I)Cosmo didn't cheat on Wanda**.


	4. chapter 4

chapter 4

A/N- I don't know if you noticed, but this story supposed to take place in the summer. Why would Timmy go to the school in the summer? Also

Cartoon Network's show called _Foster's Hame for Imaginary Friends_ There's a girl named Frankie. As soon as I saw her I thought she looked like Vicky. They both have red hair in a pony tail. Frankie has a green coat and Vicky has a green shirt. Any ways, here is the rest of the story.

Seven A.M, The next morning. It's a Saturday

The alarm clock blares inTimmy's ear. He jumps straight up into the air and lands next to Vicky's feet. Vicky is already to give Timmy his daily amount of torture.

"Good morning Twerp. Do you know what time it is?

"Time for breakfast? Time to sleep in?" Timmy said with his eyes half closed.

"Wrong! it's time for chores. You can start by mopping the lawn."

"The lawn is made of dirt."Timmy said.

"I know that's why you have to mop it. I'll be inside making Tootie clean the toilets. Have fun Timmy." Vicky said. She grabbed a flashlight and laughed evilly. Then she went inside.

Cosmo (who was a lawn nome when Vicky was with Timmy) turned back into his fairy form.

"Cosmo I have to be at the school at 7:30." He looked at his watch and it read 7:15. "We have fifteen minutes. I need to distract Vicky so I can get out of here."Timmy said.

There was a knock at the door.

Vicky opened it and wasn't noticing who was at the door.

"I'm not buying any cookies." She then noticed who it was.

He had a red coat on and baggy blue jeans. It was Chip Skylark.

"Hi I was just in the neighborhood and I found this little black pug puppy near your house. I thuoght it might be yours."

Vicky talking to the dog/poorly acting"Fido I missed you so much. You're a naughty little puppy. Bad boy.

"So Chip do you want to come in? The twerp- I mean I made some cookies. Do you want some?"

"No thanks I have to go to a photo shoot in an hour," Chip said.

"Vicky I'm done cleaning the toilets. Chip Skylark. Why are you here?" Tootie said while walking down the steps.

"Who's this?"Chip asked.

"This is my little sister Tootie. She doesn't resemble me because I'm much prettier."

"She's adorable," said Chip. He then sits down and asks Tootie a whole bunch of questions about her life.

"This might take a while,"Vicky said to herself.

At the School gym 7:30-

"Is _Fairy Killer_ here?" Timmy said to Cosmo.

"I hope so" Cosmo said.

It was dark in the gym and then a big flash of light appeared. Standing on the top of the bleachers was Denzel Crocker. Aside of him was Timmy's bully Francis. In between them was Candy. She had duck tape on her mouth and her wand was missing. Mr. Crocker had the wand in his hand.

"Mr. Cocker. I should have known." Timmy said.

"Wasn't it obvious. I knew as soon as I read the letter. I just didn't say anything to build the suspense," Cosmo said.

"How did you know where she was?" Timmy asked.

"My Fairy tracker and she was standing in front of your house banging on the window to come in. Man she's stupid. She could have just used her magic to go into the house," Mr. Crocker said.

"She's not stupid, she's a moron," Cosmo said.

"Soon she'll be revealed to the world and that's all the proof I need. Francis helped me in my plot by capturing her."

"I know how much you hate me and when Mr. Crocker asked me about the plan I couldn't pass up the chance to make you suffer. When we're finshed I'm going to eat you then kill you," Francis said.

"Should we get started?"

"No, You can't,"Cosmo said.

"I wish Francis and Mr. Crocker didn't know fairies excisted," Timmy said. Cosmo raised his wand and neither of them remembered about it.

"I wished I was home and Candy was free."

Candy was down on the ground and was free from Mr. Crocker.

The three of them appearred in the backyard.

"I really should be going now ," Chip said, now bored by Tootie's stories about Timmy.

Just then Timmy came in with his mop and bucket (Candy and Cosmo).

"Chip Skylark. What are you doing here?"

"Hey little dude. I found Vicky's dog for her.

"Why would you do that for her? She's icky," Timmy asked.

"Word, I feel sorry for the dog," Chip said.

"That's not even her dog. Her dog is black and white and his name is Doydle."

"It's not. You said that just to get me in here. You really are Icky Vicky. See yah. I'm off to find this dog's owner," Chip said.

"Twerps!!!!!!! You ruined my chance with Chip," Vicky said angrilly.

"Like you had a chance," Tootie said.

"You get double the chores in half the time you are supposed to do.

"What do we do when we're finished?" Timmy asked.

"What a great question. You get more work!" Vicky yelled.

After two days of work, work, and more work Timmy's parents came home.

Wanda came back from Fairyworld and fixed all the mistakes Cosmo and Candy did. Candy still visits when she can because most of the time she's working for Jorgan.

The End

I hope you enjoyed my 2nd fanfic. I think this one's longer than the other one.

Please read and review.


	5. Thanks

Thank You!

Thank you to all the people who reviewed.

Thank you KwazyKandyPie

Thank you Insomniac II

Thank you Ginger Charpentier

Thank you Cosmo666

Thank you bored-gal-hunter

Thank you BouningBall

Thank you Cartoonzombie

Thank you Marzcello

Thank you to everyone else who read my story, but didn't review.

Thank you!!!!!


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